New Year…New Blog!

Thank you followers and readers for being with Savoir Vivre!     🙂

I cordially invite you all to join my new blog

http://bleustokcings.wordpress.com/

Happy New Year!

Much Love!

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Towards something new…

Savoir vivre was my happy place for me to come … it will always be…but something new is never born when you don’t come out of something old…and it isn’t the end … it is a new beginning … savoir vivre was a good friend to have in a beautiful journey … I am thankful … it is a new journey now… new beginning …new thoughts… and hence, a new blog…

Will be beginning soon again … the transformation that savoir vivre had has led to another bigger transformation …

🙂

Thank you savoir vivre  🙂

 

gussa kyun ata hai itna? :(

har kisi ki life mein kabhi kabhi aise din zarur ate hain wen all u wnt 2 do is simply slap everyone who comes in front of u…pagalon ki tarah chikhne ka man krta hai..apne hi baal noch lene ka man krta hai.choti choti baaton par bhi jaise nal mein paani kyun nhi aa raha..tv mein signal kyun nhi aa raha..downloading speed kyun kam hai..gmail kyun disconnect ho rha hai…ph mein balance kyun nhi hai…maths itna iritating kyun hai…kal ke kharide tamatar ek hi din mein kaise sadh gayee..nashte mein kuch khane ka man kyun nhi kar raha..ye mausam aisa kyun hai..and for godsake har channel pe us stupid jab tak hai jaan ke ghatiya vid bajana band karenge it irritates me…jab main tv dekh rhi hun to kya sirf meri marzi ke mere pasand ke ads nhi aa sakte tv pe???meri ankhon ke samne us stupid anorexic sharma ki shakal kyun aa jati hai even if its just a 10sec ad i cant tolerate her 😦  meri tv mere hisab se nhi dikha sakti…ofcourse my tv shud know mujhe kya dekhna pasand hai aur kya nhi…fir movie channels mein us stupid govinda ki movies kyun????aaaaarrrggggghhhh

i cnt eat without tomato…tamatar ko pata hona cchahiye its my fav vegetable..how dare he itni jaldi kharab ho jata hai..choc ko pata hona chahiye dt its my fav to usme itni calories kyun hoti hai…apparantly meri geography teacher ka naam anushka tha…music rehearsals mein bohoot pareshan krti thi mujhe…usk stupidgawar eng accent iski gawar eng accent se boohooot milti hai…sadhi hui shakal bhi….par wo to skool mein tha…abhi bhi mujhe gussa kyun ata hai????i wish i cud go back and gift a packet of condom to anushka sharma’s parents…kabhi paida hi nhi hoti apne stupid expressions se mujhe irritate krne….i feel like eating corn today with mustard mayonnase..jo mere ghar se bohooot door milta hai…meri pasand ki cheezein mere ghar ke paas hi milni chahiye na….

ya ya i know… maha inspiration quotes ki aur maha inspiring logon ki param bhakt hun…pachason inspirational pages like maar rakhe hain maine fb pe..rooz gyaan ki baatein padhne milti hain fb kholte hi…par kabhi kabhi gussaaaaaaa bhi bohooot ata hai…i knw…mera hi mantra hai..leve behind trivialities..dnt fret over useless stuff…par hota hai yaar kabhi kabhi…ufffffffff…god…….:(:(:(:(((((((((((( babies aur teddies itnee cute kyun hote hain…i wnt dem all around me…i hate it …kash main bachon ki doc hoti…ya nursery teacher hoti..i wud hv been happy all my life…

One stupid person :)

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so
vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it
means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up
all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that
nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any
other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a
piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day,
like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own
anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and
leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we
should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way
into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in
the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart
pain. I hate love.”
— Neil Gaiman, The Sandman

I love that stupid person 🙂

The complicated nature of our existence

We all come across experiences in life which have the power to change us or redefine the very meaning of existence for us. These are the expeiences when life gives you an opportunity to get deeper & deeper in touch with your innerself.
4 years back the girl I saw gossiping is still gossiping…the guy I saw hitting on women is still busy doing the same. I wonder how come people create a shell of negativity made out of the conerstone of frivolity & lead a purposeless life. These are the people who try to pull you down when you are trying to climb the ladders of prosperity & add dimensions of enlightenment to your existence.

The complicated nature of our existence is defined when we look back to see how much we have grown…and they are still the same…
Life is about moving forward & not backward…

Fake vs Real

It’s devastating to come across the story of friend who gets jilted by her boyfriend(don’t feel like usind the term “love”) right in the middle of her unmarried pregnancy. What’s worse is that he gave reasons like she wasn’t a “virgin” when they met & he isn’t responsible for the pregnancy. What do you think the girl did? She tried to end her life.
For a friend…and for many other girls out there…
*STATURY WARNING:- MEN MAY NOT READ!
Do you have to constantly keep a check on his FB chats/inbox messages? Is he the one who constantly asks you to put up that lingerie he saw in a VicToria’s Secret ad? Is he obsessive about your “virginity” and makes a big deal out of it? Is getting down & dirty the only thing he has to talk about when he calls you?
Yes …every point mentioned above is harsh & brazen & I had no intentions of writing something like this…but this is a mistake which a lot of girls make. Unfortunately men are not like currency notes …you could put them under the light and figure out who’s real and who’s fake. And dear ladies…it’s not about judging anyone…it’s just about being SAFE!
There’s a reason why I feel like spanking filmmakers for making films like Banj Baja Barat & Ishaqzaade or Rab Ne Banadi Jodi for that matter. I know…my old pet peeves…but this is exactly the reason. Look at the female characters of BBB & Ishaqzade…1st half of the film they are headstrong & amazingly spirited & 2nd half of the film they are destroyed,jilted in love & then hopelessly return to the same man who didn’t even respect their body…forget about emotions. So is it okay for every girl to repeatedly forgive a guy who plays around? Is it okay for a guy to sleep with her and then dump her and then make a puppy face and get her back? What are we tying to show in these movies? Rab Ne Banadi Jodi…again a fim that “glorifies” the confused nature of a woman and in the end comes out the pathetic…”mujhe unmein rab dikhta hai” because she plays the hopeless subservient 2nd hand fiddle to chauvinist men in her life! Dear ladies.. rab baad mein dikhega…pehle pata to chale insaniyat hai ya nahi usmein!
Toxic relationhips…why do women deny that they MADE A MISTAKE? Galti sabse ho jati hai…even the most beautiful women in this world have been deceived…some even destroyed by creeps who could do nothing other than using them.
IT’S OKAY to think about your happiness. Yes you learnt to cook his favourite chicken dish even if you don’t like it. Did he care about the fact that may be your puppy is something close to your heart? Ofcourse these are trivialities…but why should you be the one who thinks about his happiness and he never reciprocates? You happiness is important as well.
YOU DON’T NEED TO BE SUBSERVIENT. You are as educated as him…as smart as him…as intelligent as him(well most of the times more than him 😀 )…then why do you need to need to play a 2nd class citizen in you relationship?
WE HAVE A LIFE TOO. On a personal level we have dreams too…ambitions too…we have our own set of opinions too…if we like to wear shorts its because we like to wear shorts & we don’t need to explain why. If they don’t like being questioned “kiska phone tha?” even we don’t like being told “ye mat pehno log kya sochenge”.
WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. And we may not perhaps look like that photoshopped model/actress but there is no humanly possible pedastal on this planet that can ever judge a woman as not beautiful. Not possible. We are beatiful even with those blemishes and scars and a little more flab.We are beautiful with any complexion we are born with. We are beautiful with or without make up. We are beautiful with unkept hair and undone eyebrows.And…if he dare says we are not…we are better off without them…after all its just a man and we don’t need a man to verify that WE ARE BEAUTIFUL.
WE DO NOT COMPETE WITH THEIR MOMMY. Perhaps men will never grow up. We know we will never be able to cook like their moms or even iron clothes as efficiently as their moms do because we would never compete with her…but if he constantly goes around making a comparison that doesn’t even make sense…the mamma’s boy definitely needs to go to school and brush up his boyfriend skills. We do not like unfair comparisons.

VIRGINITY IS NOT A PANDORA’S BOX. I know it’s a sensitive issue but I could never figure out what does “virgin” mean? It means “pure”. So a girl who happened to love earlier is not “pure”.Or may be a girl who was abused is not “pure”.Even a girl who was cheated is not “pure”. Is it some kind of a Pandora’s box that should have never been touched before he touched you.Is this the focal point of loving a woman? The answer is same as the question. Not a virgin…not a sinner…and if he doesn’t understand that…he doesn’t love you.
MYTH:-YOU NEED A MAN TO SECURE YOU! NOPE..YOU DON’T. Why to cling on to a man for all the wrong reeasons on this planet? If he can’t secure a happy space for you…then how the hell is he going to secure you on a social level? BIG MYTH!
If you sleep most nights wondering about is he the one who’s going to sex-you-in & then ex-you-out…then better get some sleep!
If he is a guy who’s never asked you about your childhood but found your cupsize more intresting…if he is the guy who never remembered all the sacrifices you made for him but remembers you talking about your issues to him as your “tantrums”…if he is the guy who doesn’t have time for your birthday but has all the time in the world to make-out whenever he feels like…if he is the guy who doesn’t think it’s his responsibility to keep you happy and then blames you for every problem in his life… KICK HIM AS FAR AS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One of my favourite writers said
To say “I love you” one must first be able to say the “I.”
Ayn Rand
The man who lacks individuality, the power to think & act on his own terms and has been a spineless scroundel all his life should never be entertained to have such an important space in your life. And if you have already made the mistake …there’s always a good time to set it right.
Every woman is a princess…if a man disrespects her…he isn’t a man.
.

Jeena isi ka naam hai!

Every time I open FB I get something awesome to read…but haven’t really read something as awesome as this…thanks to my friend Donna and her awe-inspiring updates!Read on!

A time comes in your life when you finally get it…
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice
inside your head cries out – ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening…

You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren’t always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are … and that’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything; it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you “stack up.”

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won’t settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it’s just life happening.

You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can ♥

 

Children are only & only meant to be loved!

by Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Kuch aur shayari :)

Found some shayaris scribbled between my notes… I just love this form of poetic expression!

Tu chand aur main sitara hota…aasman pe ek ashiyan humara hota…

Log tumhe door se dekhte…nazdeek se dekhne ka hak bas humara hota…

Tere wajood ki khushboo basi hai sanson mein…

Ye aur baat hai nazron se door rehte ho…

Kabhi khud hi mere paas aa…

meri baat sun mera saath de…

Jo khalish hai dil se nikal kar…

mujhe uljhanon se nijat de…

Tujhe sochna mera mahgala…

tujhe dekhna meri arzoo…

Mujhe dil de apne khayal ka…

mujhe karb ki ek raat de…

Meri zindagi mere sath chal…

mere hath mein apna hath de…

Mujhe gham bhi khushi se kabool hai..

jo tu agar mera sath de…

Dil ko bechain sa karti hain tumhari ankhein…

Raat ko der tak tum humein socha na karo…

Khamoshi bhi suna deti hai haal dil ka…

Hothon se na sahi ankhon se kuch to kaha kar…

Kisi umeed mein teri ankhon mein jhankte hain hum…

kahin mile wo samandar jo humein le doobe…

Use khabar hi nahi bikhar chala hai koi….

usiki mohabbat mein jee raha hai koi…

Apni mohabbat pe hai itna bharosa…

meri wafaein tujhe kisi aur ka hone nahi dengi…

Wo ate hain to dil mein ek kasak mehsus hoti hai…

mujhe dar hai kahin ise mohabbat to nahi kehte…

Khush hai wo humein yaad na karke…

hans rahe hain wo humse baat na karke…

ye hansi unke hothon se kabhi na jaye…

Khuda kare wo humari maut pe bhi muskuraye…

Acha lagta hai tera naam mere naam ke saath…

jaise koi subah judi ho kisi haseen shaam ke saath…

 

Yaadon mein basa rakha hai tujhe is qadar….

koi waqt bhi pooche tera naam bata dete hain…

Aey hasrat-e-deedar ye kya raaz hai akhir…

wo samne ate hain to nazrein jhuk jati hain…

Qabza na haq kiya kijiye khudpar…

aap apney nahi humare hain…

Agar tum ijazat do to chand lafzon mein keh daalein…

tum bin mar to sakte hain…par tum bin jee nahi sakte…

Jane kyun itni si baat pe dharkan ruk si gayi…

bas zara sa tassavvur hi to kiya tha uske bagair jeene ka…

Nadani ki hadd hai zara dekho to unhe…

mere dil mein rehte hain aur mere jaisa dhund rahe hein…

Log kehte hain muskaan hai hothon pe…

kaun jane tassavvur mein hansaya kisne….

Jeene se is qadar bhi lagaw na tha mujhe…

tune to zindagi ko meri jaan kar diya….

Today was okay!

I am really not a TV serial person but absolutely loved yesterday’ episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Meredith Grey’s character is so like me as if she is my doppelganger!Every character of this series has something vital to teach us and after a long time am hooked to something like I used to be hooked to TinTin!
Meredith put it up so simply something that I have been wondering about – “CUT,SUTURE,CLOSURE”! Some of us are unfortunate to have toxic relationships in our lives . We have all heard stories of people spiralling down into depression because of these relationships-may be a dysfunctional family or a broken marriage…some are jilted in love…some are hurt and pained by the most important people in their lives. The worst part of it is denial. We deny and say it loud that we are fine and even in the face of all that fineness we deny that we are denying! We forget that it’s okay to break down and cry…it’s okay to vent out! I really like the dialogues of this series just like this one – “I am ready to walk every mile towards my healing”. This is exactly what we are supposed to do!
Some relationships go beyond the limit of graceful & dignified dealings – let them go. That’s exactly how Meredith puts it in a surgeon’s language – “CUT,SUTURE,CLOSURE”! We don’t allow a rotting teeth inside our mouth then why do we allow toxic people in our lives(and yes…the comparison is absolutely justified). Unfortunately life is not the same as cooking. While cooking we put in ingredients in exactly the same quantity of the flavour we would like to have but we can’t put in people & situations in our lives according to our will. All we can do is to control who stays on.

Jab shareer ka ek hissa hadd se zyada dard dene lage to use kaat ke khud se alag kar dena hi acha hota hai….”CUT,SUTUE,CLOSURE”! The day you do that you realise today was okay…
Suddenly 10pm has become my favourite time of the day! 🙂

I connect…

I don’t wake up every morning and perform an elaborate aarti…I don’t even pray everyday…I don’t fast like most typical good Indian girls fast(am a foodie)…but somehow I connect…

I connect to Him when I get good food to it…not everyone in this world is blessed to eat their hearts content..

I connect to Him when whenever I get an opportunity to smile again…after every such situation when I thought I could never smile again…

I connect to Him when just in the middle of a very busy day…suddenly I feel as if there is something that’s guiding me…something that’s holding me so that I don’t fall apart…

I connect to Him whenever I inhale…

How can a person be at amazing places like the Dashashwamedh ghaat or the Chittor temple of Mirabai or the Ajmer Shareef Dargah or the St. Patrick’s Cathedral and not believe…

Sometimes I wonder that how can anybody go through life as an experience altogether…and not believe…

How can anybody see a mother conceive a baby…and not believe??? Strange!

And the word mother reminds me of the most powerful mother …Durga! So what it is it that I love so much about Durga Puja??Is it the shopping?? Is it the food?? Is it the pandal hopping?? I have always felt something more …always more than all that usually happens…perhaps a greater sense of happiness…the kind of happiness I don’t feel round the year…and why not….that’s what happens when one gorgeous lady comes to meet another…when a gorgeous mother meets her gorgeous daughter :P

Yes I connect to the big daddy or mommy sitting up their…

Do you??

 

 

 

 

Ishq wala LOVE!

Like this song…especially because the lyrics specifies it as “ishq wala love” as their are too many varieties of love these days …like hero/heroine-jaisa-dikhta-hai-wala-love,badi-gadi-chalata-hai-wala-love,fly-by-night-love,munni-wala-love,john-wala-love etc etc    😛

But the word ISHQ reminds me of a short discussion that I just happened to evesdrop while clicking some pictures of the Chittor forts Mirabai’s temple(the same temple where she would sit and sing mere to girdhar gopal)! Some saints sat their and discussed “ishq kise kehte hain?” … and another saint followed up  with a little fable about Mirabai. Mirabai happened to be a part of a popular satsang in which Krishna devotees from all over had come to participate in the program that was organised on the occasion of Janmashtami. A rishi from Kashi happened to join in and everytime Mirabai would sing a bhajan he would cover his face with a veil in an attempt of hiding  his face from her. Mirabai went upto him and asked him why was it so important for him to hide his face from her. He said none of the rishis in his order where supposed to allow any woman see his face. To this Mirabai replied “hum Krishna bhakton ke liye to ek hi mard hai…aur wo Krishna hai”. The saint who was narrating this fable said “ishq wo ehsaas hai jismein us insans ka wajood apne wajood se kuch alag nahi hota”

So simple!

Why is this relationship the only relationship which is always at the receiving end? We never make fun of any other relationship then why cant people be just a little more dignified and respectful towards it? We never replace our parents/siblings/grandparents then why are people so quick to find “substitutes”  when it comes to “love”?

I don’t identify romance with rubbish films & their over-the-top songs. I find it romantic when someone leaves behind his semesters only to tell me that I am lucky enough to be loved….it’s romantic when you realise that he is the most amazing man you have ever seen and he still choses to be with a dork like you…it’s romantic when he is always ready to listen to your endless ramblings without a single frown…it’s romantic when he stays by your side even when you have a thousand disillusionments in your head…

Fear is the most unreasonable of all human emotions…it’s unfair when you fear in love…because you end up not giving completely to the other person…

Fear is not good for love…and the legend of Mirabai had this very significant lesson to teach…

The Attention Drama

Teacher says pay attention to the class.

News channels say pay attention to our ramblings.

Parents say pay attention to marks.

BF/GF says pay attention to me.

Nobody ever says pay attention to “yourself”!

 

Sure all “well wishers” around us are extremely worried about your well being but I feel exceedingly sorry for people who relate their absolute happiness to some hopelessly competitive number – marks/position/salary/profit/dividend…bla bla…

We all have certain important people around us…people we love & care for very very dearly…we worry & worry & worry a lot about them…do we ever worry about their happiness?? And by happiness I mean seedha simple sada wala happiness. When you see your dad working hard day in & day out you worry about his BP, his health and everything else. Why don’t you just go and ask him “dad who’s your favourite actor…let’s see one of his films together” . Or do you ever go to your mom and say “aaj sabzi main kaat leta hun…aap woh naye wale bangles pehno”. Strange!  In the so-called “pursuit of happiness” we only push our loved ones instead of truly caring for them.

When was the last time somebody said…”pay attention to yourself….are you really happy doing what you are doing…in the routine mundane life?”

When was the last time somebody said …”let’s go to the park and play on the see-saw…Sundays are Sundays for a reason”.

When was the last time somebody told to pay attention to the people who can do nothing in return for us.

When was the last time somebody said “how happy you are with this life?”

Is life about being a slave?

I think its called “living” in English…

People don’t usually plan for their epitaphs but I have…it should read

“ SHE LIVED”

Simple!

Why do we shout in anger?

Bad mood…and google searching about all kinds of ridiculous stuff…googled this one too…and found something amazing…

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled ‘n asked.

‘Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?’

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, ‘Because we lose our calm, we shout.’ 

‘But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.’ asked the saint

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.
Finally the saint explained, .

‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love or when two lovers make love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small…’

The saint continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper ‘n they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other ‘n that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’

He looked at his disciples and said.

‘So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.’

 

10 things I want to do. #notetoself

  1. Make mistakes
  2. Make mistakes
  3. Make mistakes
  4. Make mistakes
  5. Make mistakes
  6. Make mistakes
  7. Make mistakes
  8. Make mistakes
  9. Make mistakes
  10. Learn from all of them…

Life is short. Cribbing about mistakes is sinful. Learn from mistakes, move on and become a better self.

 

PS:- You get to know your so-called “rishtey naatey” better only when you happen to make a grotesque mistake….jab galti ho jaye tabhi pata lagta hai kaun apna kaun paraya…chadhte sooraj ko to sab salam karte hain…its your mistakes that strip naked all the fake relationships you might be carrying on your shoulders as a burden!

Where do ideas come from?

Here’s what Seth Godin has to say about where will you find the best ideas!

  1. Ideas don’t come from watching television
  2. Ideas sometimes come from listening to a lecture
  3. Ideas often come while reading a book
  4. Good ideas come from bad ideas, but only if there are enough of them
  5. Ideas hate conference rooms, particularly conference rooms where there is a history of criticism, personal attacks or boredom
  6. Ideas occur when dissimilar universes collide
  7. Ideas often strive to meet expectations. If people expect them to appear, they do
  8. Ideas fear experts, but they adore beginner’s mind. A little awareness is a good thing
  9. Ideas come in spurts, until you get frightened. Willie Nelson wrote three of his biggest hits in one week
  10. Ideas come from trouble
  11. Ideas come from our ego, and they do their best when they’re generous and selfless
  12. Ideas come from nature
  13. Sometimes ideas come from fear (usually in movies) but often they come from confidence
  14. Useful ideas come from being awake, alert enough to actually notice
  15. Though sometimes ideas sneak in when we’re asleep and too numb to be afraid
  16. Ideas come out of the corner of the eye, or in the shower, when we’re not trying
  17. Mediocre ideas enjoy copying what happens to be working right this minute
  18. Bigger ideas leapfrog the mediocre ones
  19. Ideas don’t need a passport, and often cross borders (of all kinds) with impunity
  20. An idea must come from somewhere, because if it merely stays where it is and doesn’t join us here, it’s hidden. And hidden ideas don’t ship, have no influence, no intersection with the market. They die, alone.

A quick to-do list!

CAT’s coming up…and all I have on my mind is what I shall be doing once the big exam gets over. God help me!   🙂

 

Let’s backpack & explore India!

 

Once a desi! Always a desi! A quintessential Indian at heart might get the opportunity to visit some of the most glamorous cities across the world…but for an Indian romance is always about Taj Mahal & NOT Paris . So here’s all that I plan to do once I am done with exams. I love holidays!

Idea: Backpacking India like a tourist – Explore & work at the same time. Like a Digital Nomad. Fun!

Target: Explore a minimum of 10 states – mostly visit villages.

Time: 15-20 days

Budget: Very tight. Remember – Backpacking!

Note:

  • Say no to Flights – Only trains (preferably sleeper class – you are more likely to get talking with the fellow passengers in this class, than in 3-tier A.C.)
  • Don’t miss on tractor rides in village farms. They have a different charm.
  • Try to stay in homes of villagers.
  • Make a mark in their life – do something remarkable for them!
  • Food – eat their staple diet. (I can still choose to be vegetarian)
  • Work during travel. Plan your day accordingly so that you can steal out some time to work.
  • Blog every day – tough one!
  • Click Pictures – lots of them.
  • Carry only one backpack – no frills packing!

I want to do this very badly. Let’s see I can work upon this one. I need to decide on the region I would like to cover. I have two choices in mind at the moment – up north around the Himalayas or down south(Andamans road trip). Both seem too adventurous and exciting!

Easy vs. Do-able vs. impossible

I stumbled upon this post from Seth Godin, the marketing pundit.

Often we consider an opportunity based on how easy it is. The problem with this analysis is that if it’s easy, it’s often not worth doing. It’s easy to start a blog, but of course, starting a blog doesn’t really deliver a lot of value. Posting 4,100 blog posts in a row, though, isn’t easy. It’s do-able, clearly do-able, and might just be worth it.

Successful organizations seek out the do-able. When Amazon went after the big bookstore chains, analysts ridiculed them for doing something insanely difficult. But it was clearly do-able. Persistence and talent and a bit of luck, sure, but do-able.

Sometimes we seek out things that are actually impossible. Building a search engine that’s just like Google but better is impossible (if your goal is to dominate the market with it). It’s fun to do impossible projects because then you don’t have to worry about what happens if you succeed… you have a safety net, because you’re dreaming the impossible dream.

Do-able, though, is within our reach. Ignore easy.

What he says here makes a lot of sense to me. I have had a blog for over an year and still 25 posts, which don’t even matter. Doesn’t really add value by any means either. Yet, I consider myself doing something that is do-able. Though, now I would aim to do something that is impossible for many. Hence, I’d have a safety net (as Seth mentions). What ever I do off the impossible, would then become an achievement.

 

“It’s impossible.” said pride/ “It’s risky.” said experience/ “It’s pointless” said reason/ “Let’s do it!” said the Entrepreneur.”

Have you ever really loved a man <3

The title is a little twist from the famous Bryan Adams song . Is there anything called a perfect love ? Is there anything called a perfect spouse ? Nope.  There are so many complicated things in life and love is certainly not one of them! :)

EXPECTATIONS!  

When we are in love we automatically tend to expect certain returns from the other person & there is absolutely nothing wrong with that . But how much should a girl expect from her guy – that he should be as cheesy & romantic even 10 years later as he was when you first started dating him or he should behave like a typical Mills &  Boons guy 24*7 ! With time he will transform into a “man” with responsibilities on his shoulders & he won’t remain the same  college going fun loving guy that he was.If you love him…love him through all the transformations that he goes through…love him when he is romantic & behaves like a sweetheart …& love him more …even more when he comes back home cribbing about his boss :P

UNDERSTANDING!

Understanding is the backbone of every human relationship & when any particular relationship fails its particularly because the understanding part of it has not been taken care of. He may make mistakes because its very much in human nature to make mistakes.There can be certain things in you which he may not like.Understand him! There may be times when he wouldn’t feel like fighting the world because it’s tough being a man. Understand him! There might be circumstances & situations when he might not even be able to express what’s killing him inside. Understand him! Give him his space & always let him know that he is never alone.  :P

TRUST!

The most difficult verb to act upon when a woman is in love with a man! And there are solid reasons for it too given the kind of frivolity we get to see all the  time in the conduct of men around us.I have myself received flirtatious messages from sincerely “committed” guys on FB – “sweetheart u look like the moon in ur DP” & I have mentally replied to them “teri gf ko forward karti hun wo tujhe din mein tare dikhayegi”  :P  :D   :D   And it’s because of these useless guys bechaare ache sushil ladke bhi fans jaate hain   :D

But this trust factor is something that’s applicable to both the guy & the girl in the relationship. If you have loved him whole  heartedly then why would he at all feel the need to wander here & there ! Even when it comes to his social circle , if he is a fashion photographer he will WORK with models. If there are girls in his team at his workplace he will be going out with them,befriending them , having conversations with them,smiling at them (okay… I could be really mean & break every bone in his body if I found him doing all this :P ). But that’s what trust is about…it can’t be love if the other person feels like he is inside shackles and his entire life has turned into a do’s & dont’s instruction manual!

SURRENDER!

Now am not elaborating this… surrendering completely,wholly & totally to the man you love…is an emotion only to be felt by woman in love…

PS- specially dedicated to Mr Darcy  🙂

I love you <3

I love you

Being a woman… Being a mother…

Women have taken up so many roles , the toughest being that of a home-maker. The most challenging full time job for a woman is definitely being a mother &  a housewife.  This post happens to be a tribute to all such women who had the strength to rise above their personal interests  of having a successful career & give up on years of hard work only to build a beautiful home for her loved ones. The same stands true for working wives & mothers who are juggling with many glass balls at once.

People often don’t pay attention to the amount of emotional intelligence that goes into “being a woman”.  Dumb women can never make efficient home makers. It takes that intelligence to keep office affairs separate from domestic chores. It requires that sharp mental faculty which conditions you to switch hats easily. And if the home-maker is not in perfect sanity…there you have the home-breaker!

The wife, the mother happens to be the centre of the family. She binds everyone together, she makes sure whether everyone’s keeping good health, she makes sure whether everyone had their food on time… if she stops caring, the entire family is dismantled. It disappoints me when I see people looking at all “auraton wale kaam” as merely physical activities…and that’s exactly the reason why women have excelled in every other field because they have already given their best to the toughest job in the world – “makan ko ghar banana”! So stop complaining when you see the women in your home fidgeting too often with the pillow cover or bed spread – coz that’s what makes a home right!

 

A small tribute to world’s most tolerant creatures – mothers! Mothers have the most beautiful relationship in this world with their children – a relationship based on pain & suffering . The mother takes all the pain & all the sufferings to bring her child into this world and as long as she is there for her children , they don’t need to feel helpless. The moment she isn’t there, nothing in this world is enough to compensate for her loss. Those who have been deprived of this love will know what I mean when I say that her loss is irretrievable. My Biology teacher in school had taught a wonderful lesson (mostly to the boys)  which I still remember . She brought a flower & showed it to us – “this is a flower & it’s beautiful…this flower is the reproductive organ of the tree… similarly, a woman is the reproductive creature of mankind …she is beautiful like a flower is… she gives birth, creates life…& only & she has the ability to do so…because only she has been bestowed with all the strength to do it…so never ever disrespect a woman or her body …because its something divine & pure …just like this flower is”

 

On a footnote-(something that I realised recently) Thank God I am not a boy!    :D